i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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