You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
