Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
thus making me awesome and them whores
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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