she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
