We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
