if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
