So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she looked like the before picture.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
