Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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