We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
