I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
