How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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