I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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