she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
