He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
