Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
