Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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