Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
