roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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