And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
