I'm so fucking centered right now
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
