its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
