Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
