12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
