did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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