I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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