I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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