Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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