I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
