ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
