In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
