what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Less talking, more tequila
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
third nipple confirmed
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
