how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
