just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
