Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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