i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
