I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
