Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
