Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
