I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
