So gin and wine won't be happening again
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
