Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
