I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
