i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
