More tranny stories later!
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
