The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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