Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
