I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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