When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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