Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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