drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
